The Power of Graduates Coming Together

*Taken from my recent post for Student Minds: The Power of Graduates Coming Together*

Coming out of university is pretty scary. There are so many expectations (from yourself and others), so many comparisons to make to other graduates, and so many obstacles to overcome. I remember when I finished my undergraduate degree in 2017, I couldn’t focus on my success, I could only focus on the fact I was having to move back to my family home, and I hadn’t yet secured a ‘grad role’, in fact, I had no idea what I wanted to do. This to me was one big fat failure in trying to be the adult I was now expected to be. My mental health really took a turn for the worst. 

Not knowing what I wanted to do, I jumped at the chance of going into a funded research degree. That sweet relief of two more years to hide away from the real world and all its responsibilities. I decided to research the transition out of university into the ‘real world’ - for obvious reasons. I wanted to see if I was alone in my feelings of utter dread and uncertainty. 

I interviewed 20 different graduates from different degree backgrounds. I spoke to them about their experiences in university, how they did/didn’t prepare for making the transition, how they had found their transition so far - positive and negative, and what they wish they had known. I found talking to other graduates both fascinating and comforting. It was difficult to keep myself separate and away from my research, and difficult to not turn around and be like ‘I FEEL THE SAME!!’ when people validated my own concerns/anxieties. For example, my interviewees reported feeling they had returned to being a child when they moved back home with parents. They struggled to handle job rejections - thinking they’re degree would have secured them roles, they faced job stigma (i.e. ‘when are you going to get a ‘proper job’?) and all in all, feeling a little lost and vulnerable without the university bubble. I asked graduates how they managed to cope with all these feelings of uncertainty and all of the difficulties they faced, the vast majority of interviewees disclosed feeling some comfort in knowing others’ were ‘in the same boat’. 

In university, it’s easy to feel part of a community. There’s no comfort like being in the library late at night rushing to finish an assignment and looking around to see other students doing the same, fuelled by caffeine and stress. There’s no comfort like moaning to your course mates about student finance, or about referencing and word counts. You can all relate to each other, some way or another. And you’re all on the same path, with the same goal. Work hard to finish university and get your degree. It’s when you get out of university when it all gets a bit messy. 

With my mental health taking a hit, feeling lost and those well-documented ‘graduate blues, I set up One Oh One. A place to share my graduate experience, to interview other graduates, and share advice/tips for surviving the real world and for looking after your mental health. My platform is not the only one existing out there, only further highlighting the need for graduates to feel connected, and to reach out for the advice and support we often lack once leaving behind education. There are platforms out there that are set up to share CV writing tips - offering free consultancies - platforms to support graduates in the events agency, platforms to support and highlight the achievements of female graduates, and BAME graduates. There are platforms to support graduate mental health, job searching, and just general advice. Once you graduate university, the support network and student community you have been used to for all your years in education, completely vanishes. 

Communities like mine, and the others which are cropping up feel like one big peer support group - a bunch of graduates trying to survive for the first time without their support bubbles, and clinging together in a world that is often unrelenting to those fresh from university. Where the university support ends, graduates are pulling together to keep it going. You can feel so alone when you come out of university, you can feel like you’re falling behind (though there is no race), you can feel like the world wants you to fail. It can really impact on your mental health, as it did mine. It is so refreshing to be able to connect with so many different graduates, to hear their advice, to see the realities of the real world, and most importantly, to feel less alone.

Some other great articles on Student Minds you may like: 

Uncertainty Amidst Covid-19

Imposter Syndrome

Guest post: Erin - English Graduate (BA), 'Imposter Syndrome: What is it, and how do we overcome it?'

Image source: instagram.com/emmatterbury

Imposter syndrome is something most people will experience in their lifetime - whether in their working life or personal life. Our guest blogger, Erin, a recent English (BA) graduate, sums up beautifully how it feels to enter the working world whilst battling feelings of imposter syndrome, and shares how she's found ways to handle it. 

Erin has previously written for One Oh One about her experience of graduating in the middle of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. You can read that here. 

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Having recently begun my first post-graduate job, the last few weeks have been filled with huge learning moments. However, two weeks ago, when sitting in a meeting with my line manager, I had perhaps the biggest one of them all. ‘Try not to compare yourself to (insert name of much older colleague here). She’s been doing this for years, and you’ve just begun, in the middle of a pandemic, no less.’ He told me after I expressed my worries that I wasn’t as capable of working as independently as she was. It was then and there that I realised, I was beating myself up for not being an expert in a role that I’d been in for a month, allowing myself to worry that I wasn’t intelligent enough, experienced enough, or good enough to do a job that I had, actually, been coping incredibly well with. 

In the world of psychology, this feeling has been termed ‘imposter syndrome’. Essentially, it’s the feeling that you don’t belong within a workspace, the feeling that your achievements are the result of chance and luck, and the feeling that you don’t deserve the recognition you’re receiving. If you find yourself feeling like you might have tricked your employers into believing in you, that you shouldn’t be placing such a high value upon your work or that you are undeserving of a break because ‘well, I don’t work that hard anyway’, then you might be suffering from imposter syndrome. But why could this be?

Research has suggested that graduates in particular are significantly more likely to experience this feeling. In school – and even in university – we are constantly provided with proof of our achievements, be it in the form of grades, feedback from teachers and professors, awards, etc. Within such an environment, it’s easy to pinpoint the areas in which you’ve done well, and where you might need to improve. However, as soon we leave the education bubble, we are forced into a world where the only person judging our work may be, at times, ourselves. At this stage, it may become increasingly difficult to see yourself as a valued member of your team, especially when you aren’t receiving personally tailored feedback for every task you complete. This can be even more true for those belonging to groups whose competence in certain fields is often brought into question. Women and ethnic minorities – I’m looking at you. 

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that whilst these feelings are completely normal, they’re most definitely holding you back. Here are some simple steps that I have taken to curtail that familiar wave of self-doubt: 

• Remembering that I’m not alone. It may not seem like it, but your co-workers, your managers, the people in the media that you look up to? they’ve all experienced this feeling before. Having a look at people you admire and reminding yourself that they have also felt like an imposter at some point can sometimes be enough to rid yourself of the insecurity. It can also be helpful to share these thoughts with colleagues if you feel comfortable doing so. Rest assured, they will probably remind you of all the reasons that you do belong in your role. 

• Stopping the comparison. This isn’t school anymore; you and your colleagues didn’t all take the same maths test with easily comparable results. Without a doubt, there will be nobody around you at work with an identical history, facing identical challenges. Therefore, comparison is your worst enemy! Instead, try to own your personal accomplishments (no matter how small). Was today the first day you didn’t have to get your line-manager to check a draft before you sent it? That’s an accomplishment, so celebrate it!

• Not allowing the self-doubt to impact my decisions. Whilst it may be impossible to avoid that nagging feeling of ‘I’m a fraud!’ when you come across a task you simply can’t complete, it is possible to ensure that you don’t allow that doubt to stop you from taking action. Remember, asking for help doesn’t make you any less deserving of your role. 

• Lastly, reminding myself how far I’ve already come. At eighteen years old, I remember thinking that the idea of writing a dissertation was so terrifying that I would never complete a degree. There was probably a day when you, too, didn’t think you were capable enough to finish something, let alone do well. Making a list of all the things you have achieved, rather than focusing on what you haven’t, is a sure-fire way to stop feeling like you’ve failed.