Guest post: Social Media and Self-Comparison: A Problematic Pairing

Written by: Erin, English (BA) graduate

I studied English at university, and a massive proportion of my degree relied on me making comparisons, between authors, poets and playwrights, and between art, texts and films. When used correctly, comparison is a powerful tool, allowing us to think critically about the work we’re looking at and make sense of the world. However, allowing this practice to seep into our everyday lives can often have a huge impact on our mental health and wellbeing, and there is one place where this self-comparison is rampant: social media. Whilst a competitive drive can – at times – be incredibly motivating, allowing it to take over can have a significant effect on our mood. Since graduating, I’ve found that this has become especially true. In the strange, unusual climate we currently live in, many graduates have found themselves in jobs they didn’t expect and career pathways they never planned. It’s become very easy to get lost in self-comparison. Therefore, it’s more important than ever to be aware of comparison’s challenging relationship to mental health. 

There are many reasons that our generation have become pros at self-comparison, and I believe the main one is our collective reliance on technology. Thanks to the endless features offered by apps such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, it has become almost impossible not to remain in a constant state of awareness of exactly where your friends are, what they’re doing and how fun it looks. We’re more connected than ever, which has proven indispensable as we tackle Covid-19 measures and endless social distancing. Yet, an unfavourable result of this limitless connectivity is the ease at which we can now compare our lives to those around us. Effortless past time or not, it’s undoubtable that if you’re feeling low, scrolling through your news feed isn’t often the mood-boost you’re in need of. What’s more, we often forget that everything posted there has been edited specifically to paint its subjects in the most positive light, making any comparisons all the more damaging to our confidence. 

As a recent graduate myself, I feel as though this has become a more significant problem since leaving university. Most of my fellow grad friends have headed in separate directions, moving to other parts of the country (or even other parts of the world), meaning that social media has become one of the only means of communication that we can maintain. As a result, it has become almost customary to obsess over how differently others’ lives seem to be panning out. Personally, after such a multitude of time spent in education, measuring myself against other members of my cohort is practically second nature. Graduating into a global pandemic, mass unemployment and resultantly, a lot of confusion and stress, has highlighted how this method of easy comparison between myself and fellow students is both an impossible and futile task. Yet, although I know I have achieved great things, social media encourages me to continue this practice; I often find myself concerned with what others appear to be achieving, or how much fun they appear to be having. Ultimately, relying on social media as my main reference point for how well I’m doing has most definitely led to difficulties with my self-esteem and self-worth. 

So, what can we do to prevent social media’s stimulation of self-comparison? I’m not going to suggest detoxing altogether. Having an online presence is inevitable nowadays, and the achievements of others can be inspiring. However, it is key to be mindful of our social media use, and the impact it might be having on our mental health, remembering that our worth is not dependent on how we relate to others. Setting and celebrating personal goals is a much worthier use of your time than lamenting upon your friend’s Instagram feed, and provides a much healthier source of self-esteem than tracking likes and comments. Furthermore, even though it can be impossible (especially at the moment) to reduce the time you spend online, maintaining a sense of what is real and what is manufactured is crucial if you want to use social media in a healthy way. 

Social media is simultaneously the best and worth thing that’s happened to our generation. To prevent its burnout, it’s essential we begin to utilise it in the healthiest way possible and stop the self-comparison!  

Guest post: Erin - English Graduate (BA), 'Imposter Syndrome: What is it, and how do we overcome it?'

Image source: instagram.com/emmatterbury

Imposter syndrome is something most people will experience in their lifetime - whether in their working life or personal life. Our guest blogger, Erin, a recent English (BA) graduate, sums up beautifully how it feels to enter the working world whilst battling feelings of imposter syndrome, and shares how she's found ways to handle it. 

Erin has previously written for One Oh One about her experience of graduating in the middle of the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic. You can read that here. 

______ 

Having recently begun my first post-graduate job, the last few weeks have been filled with huge learning moments. However, two weeks ago, when sitting in a meeting with my line manager, I had perhaps the biggest one of them all. ‘Try not to compare yourself to (insert name of much older colleague here). She’s been doing this for years, and you’ve just begun, in the middle of a pandemic, no less.’ He told me after I expressed my worries that I wasn’t as capable of working as independently as she was. It was then and there that I realised, I was beating myself up for not being an expert in a role that I’d been in for a month, allowing myself to worry that I wasn’t intelligent enough, experienced enough, or good enough to do a job that I had, actually, been coping incredibly well with. 

In the world of psychology, this feeling has been termed ‘imposter syndrome’. Essentially, it’s the feeling that you don’t belong within a workspace, the feeling that your achievements are the result of chance and luck, and the feeling that you don’t deserve the recognition you’re receiving. If you find yourself feeling like you might have tricked your employers into believing in you, that you shouldn’t be placing such a high value upon your work or that you are undeserving of a break because ‘well, I don’t work that hard anyway’, then you might be suffering from imposter syndrome. But why could this be?

Research has suggested that graduates in particular are significantly more likely to experience this feeling. In school – and even in university – we are constantly provided with proof of our achievements, be it in the form of grades, feedback from teachers and professors, awards, etc. Within such an environment, it’s easy to pinpoint the areas in which you’ve done well, and where you might need to improve. However, as soon we leave the education bubble, we are forced into a world where the only person judging our work may be, at times, ourselves. At this stage, it may become increasingly difficult to see yourself as a valued member of your team, especially when you aren’t receiving personally tailored feedback for every task you complete. This can be even more true for those belonging to groups whose competence in certain fields is often brought into question. Women and ethnic minorities – I’m looking at you. 

Ultimately, it’s important to remember that whilst these feelings are completely normal, they’re most definitely holding you back. Here are some simple steps that I have taken to curtail that familiar wave of self-doubt: 

• Remembering that I’m not alone. It may not seem like it, but your co-workers, your managers, the people in the media that you look up to? they’ve all experienced this feeling before. Having a look at people you admire and reminding yourself that they have also felt like an imposter at some point can sometimes be enough to rid yourself of the insecurity. It can also be helpful to share these thoughts with colleagues if you feel comfortable doing so. Rest assured, they will probably remind you of all the reasons that you do belong in your role. 

• Stopping the comparison. This isn’t school anymore; you and your colleagues didn’t all take the same maths test with easily comparable results. Without a doubt, there will be nobody around you at work with an identical history, facing identical challenges. Therefore, comparison is your worst enemy! Instead, try to own your personal accomplishments (no matter how small). Was today the first day you didn’t have to get your line-manager to check a draft before you sent it? That’s an accomplishment, so celebrate it!

• Not allowing the self-doubt to impact my decisions. Whilst it may be impossible to avoid that nagging feeling of ‘I’m a fraud!’ when you come across a task you simply can’t complete, it is possible to ensure that you don’t allow that doubt to stop you from taking action. Remember, asking for help doesn’t make you any less deserving of your role. 

• Lastly, reminding myself how far I’ve already come. At eighteen years old, I remember thinking that the idea of writing a dissertation was so terrifying that I would never complete a degree. There was probably a day when you, too, didn’t think you were capable enough to finish something, let alone do well. Making a list of all the things you have achieved, rather than focusing on what you haven’t, is a sure-fire way to stop feeling like you’ve failed.

Graduating in a pandemic - Meet: Erin - English (soon-to-be) graduate (BA)

I’m Erin. I’m twenty-two years old and am about to graduate with a BA in English from Queen Mary University of London. 

1) How have you been spending your time during lockdown?

At first, I was still working on my final essays and dissertation, so was spending around 30 hours a week just planning, writing and editing essays. However, around the time I finished my dissertation, I was offered a job at a local grocery store, so began working there for most of my week! Other than that, I’ve been making my way through years of Netflix recommendations and learning Spanish.

2) How are you feeling about graduating in the middle of this pandemic?
Pretty scared about the possible impact, to be honest. As I’m graduating with an English degree, there is no secure career waiting for me in the outside world. It scares me that certain sectors will most likely be unable to hire for a while, especially since I have been interested in a career in the arts sector or NGO sector for years now, and both have been very badly hit by the pandemic. But, I’m trying to see the positives! Mainly that everyone is in the same boat, and hopefully, once the pandemic finally draws to a close, there will be an influx of jobs in sectors that had to shut down throughout it.

3) Has the current situation impacted any next steps you had planned?
If so, how have you coped with that?
Massively. I had planned to travel to Mexico for an unpaid internship in June, just two weeks after my original dissertation deadline. As a part of the internship, I was going to be working as a journalist with an environmental charity. I had hopes that I could be looking to start my career as soon as I returned in September.

Again, I’ve just tried to look at the positive side. The company I was meant to be working with have been amazing, allowing me to postpone the trip to any later date. I have been able to save a lot more money than I would have been able to simply by working as normal up until June, which means I will be able to travel after the trip, something I wouldn’t have been able to afford otherwise. Additionally, by the time I finally make it there, I will hopefully be able to actually speak Spanish, rather than just order a burger.

4) How have you tried to manage the uncertainty I imagine this has left a lot of 2020 graduates with?

I think the only thing you can do is speak to fellow graduates and remind yourself you’re not alone. I have so many friends graduating from a whole variety of degrees who have been forced to change their plans for the near future. Many are planning to stay in part time roles that have no connection to their career plans, a few have been forced to defer or postpone masters courses, a few have completely lost job opportunities. I even have a couple non-British friends that have been forced to return to their home countries and have no idea when they’ll be able to safely return. Knowing that most of my friends are equally as uncertain about where they might be in six months is the main way I can comfort myself. Also, I’m just making the most of time off. I haven’t had this much spare time since I was nineteen years old, so I’m trying to adapt to not guilting myself for spending an entire day off watching Netflix and sewing!

5) Have you been given any specific guidance by your university?

Unfortunately, no. Although that seems to be the case for most of my friends attending different universities. I think students have been left in the lurch a little during this pandemic. My university was particularly unhelpful throughout the final semester, refused furlough to myself and 250+ of student staff, failed to release grades on time, etc. Since my last deadline, we’ve hardly been sent a thing, but at this stage I don’t expect anything less.

6) What plans do you have now?

After waiting for two months to see whether I might make it out to Mexico later this summer/year, I decided I didn’t want to continue with the uncertainty and began looking for graduate roles nearby my hometown. In September, I will now be starting work as an English teaching assistant in a Manchester secondary school. Whilst this isn’t something I ever had planned, I’m grateful I will get the opportunity to gain some experience in schools (as I have considered teaching in the past), and that I will be working solely within a subject that I love dearly. Hopefully, by the time the school year is complete in 2021, I will be able to head out to Mexico just a year later than planned! After that, I have no idea. But I figure that if there is anything that the last few months has taught me, its that plans can change and opportunities can arise within the space of weeks, so there is little use in getting bogged down about where I might be in twelve months’ time.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Help! Not ready to say goodbye to education yet - Is a PhD/Masters for me?

If you're currently finding yourself wondering whether to take on a postgraduate degree or not, you may have some questions similar to these below that PhD English Language student, Faye Chambers, can answer:

1. When is the deadline to decide you want to do a postgraduate degree?

I’m not sure there is any deadline really – different schemes may have restrictions but as long as you have a 2.1 or 1st at undergraduate I think you can start an MA course any time in the future, there is no need to rush into anything. I feel like I rushed into postgraduate studies and that might have been a mistake. To get the free MA by research the deadline was having a start date within 12 months of graduating for undergraduate research, so I deferred for three months and started in the January after I graduated. Because I ended up being rolled onto a PhD scheme the deadline for that was very sudden – I had about a week to turn around a funding application and get onto the course so had no time to really consider the decision.

2. What kind of funding is available?

The standard government student loans are available for course fees and living expenses, up to 10,000 a year, but you can borrow less if you don’t need it all. The thing to consider with these loans is that you will pay them back alongside your undergraduate loan so may end up with larger payments each month, but that’s only once you are earning above the graduate wage threshold (currently 25000 a year).

3. Why did you decide to do a postgraduate degree?

Probably for all the wrong reasons! I’m really interested in my subject area [English language] so I think I would have done some postgraduate study eventually, but I don’t think I would have gone straight into it from graduating without the pressure from funding or from lecturers. Our university offered a free masters to students who got a first, but on the condition that you had to start within 1 year of graduating. My grades were really good so I felt I would be wasting an opportunity if I didn’t take the scholarship. The same thing happened with my PhD – I was partway through my masters and PhD funding was offered to me, and my supervisor said she thought I was capable and that it was normally really hard to get funding, so I threw myself into it without really considering why. I am very lucky to have these opportunities but at the same time feel I’ve ended up on a path I wouldn’t necessarily have chosen for myself.

4. I don’t feel ready to leave uni yet… do you think it would be a good idea to stay in education until I decide on what I want to do?

I think if you enjoy studying and have an idea that interests you for a research project then absolutely. There shouldn’t be so much pressure to have a career goal at the end of what you are doing – learning for your own enjoyment is a great thing to do. But if the only motivation behind staying on at uni is that you don’t know what else you want to do I think it would be really hard to manage, both in terms of passing the course and on your own mental health. There are plenty of ways to spend your twenties if you don’t know what you want to do. Try loads of different jobs out with no pressure and see if you like them. Or do any job at all just to get a bit of money together and use the funds to enrich your life outside of work. Do a bit of travelling. Pick up a new skill you have always wanted to try. I don’t think anybody really knows what they want to do for a career so just do what makes you happiest.

5. How much academic support do you receive from your university during a postgraduate degree?

There are taught masters with set lessons more like an undergraduate degree, but with research degrees, most of the planning and work is done by yourself. Usually, universities recommend one meeting a month with your supervisor, and then you can email them questions. There are also courses run by the library and postgraduate team each week if you choose to attend, but these are optional and quite general study skills sessions. There isn’t a lot of contact time at all.

6. Are there many opportunities to get your work published?

Yes, but you don’t need to be a postgraduate to have work published! You will need to turn your research into an article and submit this to a journal in your field. Most journals have online submission guides so you can format your work to match what they are looking for, and they will review it, then come back to you with a decision. I suppose being a postgraduate will help because you will have more practise at academic writing and see work from fellow researchers, but you still have to put the work into your paper separately from your uni work. Also, submissions are judged blind so what matters is the quality of the paper, and not whether you’re an undergrad or a professor. I would say the more common way to showcase your work as a postgrad is conferences. Our department has an annual conference, and the university-wide one is also once a year, plus there will be opportunities for visiting conferences from outside organisations and other unis.

7. What was it like going from an undergraduate degree to a postgraduate?

The most difficult part is not having strict timetables and deadlines to work towards, whereas undergraduate courses have several modules and you might have work to hand in two or three times a year, postgraduate research is all reliant on one thesis. There are no lecturers asking to see work from you every few weeks so it’s very easy to put off work by going ‘oh I’ll do it next week’, especially when your deadline is three years in the future. Then what happens is before you know it half the time has gone, you’ve wasted it sitting in your pyjamas, and you have 80,000 words to write!

8. Would I be able to work alongside doing a postgraduate degree?

Universities advise against it but I think you have to, in order to live. Unless you are fortunate enough to get a huge scholarship or have some money to one side, it would be impossible to live independently without working. I think it’s very important to get the balance right – I work 4 days a week which is probably why I’m falling behind on my PhD because I’m so mentally exhausted from working that I have no brainpower left on my days off! If you plan and manage your time well I think it’s possible to do both well though. Also, lots of universities offer teaching work which they will pay postgraduates for, and this is probably a good option for anyone thinking of pursuing an academic career, giving you experience as well as some cash.

9. What piece of advice would you give to someone who has decided to take on postgraduate study?

I’d say if you have decided on studying at postgraduate level, organise yourself and manage your time well. Set mini-goals or deadlines which are achievable so you don’t feel like you’re struggling in a huge void. But I think you need to ask yourself one question before you start; if I could do absolutely anything in the world, and money and circumstances were no object, would it be this postgraduate degree? If the answer is no then you should probably weigh up why you are taking on this huge amount of stress and work for yourself!