Your 20's don't have to be your "20's"

The other day, I watched Connor Franta's (quite possibly my favourite Youtuber) newest video titled, "it's not you, it's your 20's" and it got me thinking about an old blog post I wrote for my long-gone personal blog in 2018: Your 20's don't have to be your "20's". I wrote it at 22. I'm now halfway through my 20's but I still firmly stand behind my message... so I wanted to re-share here what I wrote back then (see the *'s for new additions from 25 year old me). Enjoy! 

_ _ _ _ _ 

There are so many articles out there titled things similar to:

"Don't mess your 20's up: tips to get the most out of your 20's"
"Here are 20 things to do in your 20's"
"Life lessons every twenty-something should learn"

There is so much emphasis on your 20's being the best years of your life; the years you shape yourself into who you want to be, have the best 'carefree experiences. You're pretty much sold the belief that your 20's are gonna be these exciting years of being an adult - but not really - the years where you're gonna fall in love, you're gonna find out what your passion is in life. We grow up, ultimately moulding these beliefs for our lives, taking in the things we read, the things we watch, the people we watch and the people we listen to and we cast our vision into the future with a step-by-step blueprint of what we can expect to happen next. But what if you don't want to live your 20's the way you're expected to? Or what if they were just sugar-coating all along?

I'm not saying expectations are a bad thing, so long as you don't cling to them like they're absolute truths of what's gonna happen in your life, you're fine. Coming from university, I knew what was already expected of me. Graduate, get a 'proper job', save up for a mortgage, buy a house, finally become an 'adult'. And yeah, I've only just recently graduated (but managed to hide away from the real world by doing my masters, so I have another year in the comfort of academia, phew) but I am nowhere even close to achieving any of those things, and I'm not gonna lie, I wouldn't even know where to start with getting a mortgage, I'm not even 100% sure what it is! But the thing is, we all go through life at different paces, we all have different goals in mind. What I enjoy doing as a twenty-two-year-old might be someone else's idea of hell, and that's okay, I've totally grown into the idea of me being a twenty-two-year-old Grandma. Because there's no pressure!! Those articles and what everyone else is doing shouldn't make you question the path you're on. You shouldn't ever feel disappointed with the way your life is panning out if you had your hopes set on someone else's plan for their twenties or a 30-something's hindsight view. It's so easy to get caught up on what you're 'supposed' to do, you can leave barely any time to do what you want to do, or you enjoy doing.

These are the years where you're going to find yourself, that bit is true. And these are the years where you're gonna struggle, you're gonna get setbacks and you're gonna fail and you're gonna think wow what the eff am I supposed to do next? But, you've gotta figure it all out on your own, that's the beauty of it. You will feel as though you're in competition with every other twenty-something person on the planet, because I know I definitely sometimes do. But I guess in the end, the only person we're competing against is ourselves, the 'old' us, the unmotivated us. Everything will definitely sort itself out, you won't be in this limbo forever. Enjoy your 20's because before you know it, we'll all be in our 30's and well and truly in the real world (and hopefully, by then, I've learnt what a mortgage is).

** 2021/25-year old Rebecca: so firstly, I know a littleee more about mortgages, but they still scare me and it's still very much a future thing, so I'm not spending much time thinking about it. Also, the pressures and expectations of graduating did hit me in the face... and I've often found myself drowning in thoughts of where I expected myself to be at 25 or batting away other people's expectations of me as a graduate. And I'm not going to lie, it's a struggle. And in all honestly, I have no idea what I am doing, where I am going, who I will be in a year, five years, ten years time, because who does?! But I do know that I am trying my hardest to live my life for me, to make decisions that please me, to just do me. 

Surviving your first few weeks of a new job

Helloooo, after my announcement I'd be picking this up and committing to regular posts, I seemed to have fallen off the face of the earth. It's been a busy (if I could double underline that, I would) few months. It started with me leaving my job (I worked at a university) in June to return to the job I had had before I started at the university... alongside this, I picked up regular hours at a coffee shop and picked up a temp three-week contract for a summer school role. Anyway, a few weeks into my 'new/old' job, I saw a vacancy for an assistant educational psychologist (AsEP) role with a local educational psychology service. I had spent a year applying for AsEP roles and had been continually rejected, so when I decided to apply for this one, I expected no different. Long story short, I was offered an interview which then turned into an offer of employment - so after only being back into my new/old job for just over a month, I was handing my notice in. So, as you can expect, my head has been a little MUSHY. 

I am a few weeks into my new role, and naturally, the ground is still feeling unsettled beneath me. With any new job, I think you can expect to feel all in a tizz for a good few months. I'm going to get a bit psychological here now. When I researched transitions as part of my postgrad research, I delved into the work of a guy called Bridges*, who claimed that a transition is quite a slow process with multiple stages. And people can get 'stuck' in these stages, making the transition period longer. The first stage: Ending, Losing, and Letting Go. Keeping in mind a new job, that ending involves losing a familiar role, routine, and colleagues. It means letting go of a current way of doing or being. And whilst you may not have even liked the job you're leaving, there will still be this element of you losing various parts of your identity that's been shaped by the role. You might start to feel uncertain, scared, disorientated etc.,. 

In this pre-new job stage, it's natural to feel apprehensive about your move. It's in this time - where you're at your ending and about to take on this new chapter - that I look to take stock of what is going to get me through these next few weeks/months. For me, it meant taking a piece of paper and writing down everything I know works to keep me feeling happy and healthy. Transitions throw everything up in the air and everything can feel out of control. If you can identify what you can do to take back a bit of control, and promote your happiness/wellbeing, brilliant. Some examples of what's on my list: getting a substantial amount of sleep every night, having at least one nice after-work plan in my diary, eating a healthy and filling breakfast, and drinking enough water. Of course, it's not always going to go to plan, but having that list available, when you're feeling like you don't know whether you're coming or going, you can see what might help to ground you a little and give you a nice boost.

The next stage is The Neutral Zone, where I'd currently place myself. In here is a whole lot of uncertainty, confusion, and impatience. It's where you're on the bridge across the water. The side you're walking towards (the new job) is a bit foggy, making you apprehensive to cross because you're worried about what might be out there... but the side you left (old job) is blue skies, not a cloud of uncertainty/confusion in the sky. Most of us leave jobs for a reason, but in my experience, that doesn't stop the briefest of 'what have I done?' thoughts, when you're walking into this foggy uncertainty before you. But what's good to remember is, yes, it might be foggy and uncertain (stick with the metaphor for just a littleeee longer) but as you get in there, you realise you have the torch (skills, knowledge, and experience) to see what you're doing and where you're going. And the longer you walk through, the easier the fog clears. You wouldn't have been offered the position if you weren't thought of as capable! And I know imposter syndrome is very real, believe me, but this is such an exciting time to learn new things and to challenge yourself. You might feel in a rush to get out of this stage, and you will want to rush to 6 months' time when you know everything like the back of your hand. But sit with it. Work through it, don't rush yourself. 

The final stage: The New Beginning. I mean, it does what it says on the tin, really. This is when you're waking up, months into the role, and you realise you've bloody done it! You're feeling settled, you've got your new routine... You're not having to ask a hundred questions a day (you now ask 99), you know how to mute/unmute and share your screen, you know which cup to avoid in the kitchen... and you're owning it! 

A new job, no matter how excited you are will bring with it some scaries and some anxieties. And that is perfectly natural. It doesn't matter whether you feel settled in a week, month, year. Just take your time. No question is stupid, no one is any better than you (despite what your brain might tell you), and you're more than capable/qualified (or they wouldn't have hired you!) even on the days you feel you're not. And hey, if there are areas you're not feeling skilled in or certain of, ask for some training! 

Each transition, be it from university to the 'real world' or from one job to another, is best managed with: lots of patience for yourself, lots of caffeine, your best coping strategies, lots of kindness for yourself, someone to talk to, a healthy amount of (healthy) distractions, I'm talking Netflix binges, plans with friends, walks etc.,. And lots of trust in yourself! 

*More on Bridges: http://changemanagementinsight.com/bridges-transition-model/

Guest post: Surviving post-graduation blues

 

Eleanor graduated last year from Sheffield Hallam University with a degree in English Language. As we can expect, graduating in the middle of a global pandemic can make the already daunting move out of education seem even more overwhelming. In this guest post, Eleanor talks about her experience dealing with those 'post-graduation blues' that so many of us face and talks us through what she has learnt so far, in the hopes that it can make graduates feeling the same way, less alone.

_________________________________________________

Finishing university can be completely overwhelming, let alone during a global pandemic. My second semester of third year was probably the most stressful time of my life. I had constant deadlines to meet, an 8,000-word dissertation to write whilst trying to cope with the pressure of achieving my best mark. How would I be defined if I didn’t get the grade I wanted? These thoughts never left my mind. 

In March 2020, COVID-19 began to impact many people’s lives and it suddenly hit me that I had to return home for lockdown and leave university, three months earlier than I had planned. I didn’t get the chance to say bye to all my friends or thank my lecturers for all their help with my work over the past three years. It was extremely hard finishing my dissertation and all my other assignments at home, there were so many distractions, and I missed being at the library where I felt like I could be the most productive. 

The day finally came when I submitted my last assignment. Although I was completely over the moon that I had finished all my work, it still felt bittersweet. I wasn’t 100% happy because I had no idea what my next steps were, I didn’t know what career I wanted to go in and I genuinely didn’t know what my purpose was after the best years of my life were over so quickly. Whilst feeling like this, all I wanted to do was go back to Sheffield and celebrate finishing university by going on a night out with all my friends. Obviously, this couldn’t happen, and it was the worst feeling ever because I felt like my achievements and success didn’t mean anything. 

I really struggled with moving back home. The independence I gained when living on my own at university and becoming an adult felt like it completely disappeared, and it was almost as if my life had gone completely backwards. I was constantly comparing myself to other people on social media who had secured a graduate job and I felt like a failure because I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life. I had to deal with the constant overpowering questions ‘So, what do you want to do now?’ or ‘When are you going to get a proper job?’. My mental health really took a turn for the worst because I couldn’t stop thinking about the future and all the uncertainty that came with it. 

It took me several months when I finally realised, why am I actually stressing out so much? Just because the job I have now isn’t what I want to be doing forever and I haven’t exactly figured out what my next steps are, this IS okay. I’m only 22 years old and I definitely don’t need to have my whole life planned out. Not to forget the fact that we’re currently living in unprecedented times and finding a job is more difficult than ever, which is why putting unnecessary amounts of pressure on myself isn’t healthy. 

I wanted to write this blog to make sure that other graduates who may also be feeling like this know that they’re not alone. There is so much support at university when you’re a student, but as soon as you leave you can feel completely isolated and not part of a community anymore. Even though COVID-19 has made this difficult, it’s important to stay in touch with your friends from university who may be struggling with this transition too, and reach out for support if you need it. I’ve tried to overcome my post-university blues by keeping busy, taking regular breaks from social media so I’m not constantly looking at what other people are doing, and making sure that I’m patient. If like me, you’re not set on what you want to do, try and see this as something positive! You have time to travel, volunteer, or even work abroad for some time if you want to experience a different culture and gain some experience. Remember that you’re still young and it’s better to give yourself time to think about what you want to do, rather than committing to a job that you might hate and end up regretting rushing into it.

Guest post: Social Media and Self-Comparison: A Problematic Pairing

Written by: Erin, English (BA) graduate

I studied English at university, and a massive proportion of my degree relied on me making comparisons, between authors, poets and playwrights, and between art, texts and films. When used correctly, comparison is a powerful tool, allowing us to think critically about the work we’re looking at and make sense of the world. However, allowing this practice to seep into our everyday lives can often have a huge impact on our mental health and wellbeing, and there is one place where this self-comparison is rampant: social media. Whilst a competitive drive can – at times – be incredibly motivating, allowing it to take over can have a significant effect on our mood. Since graduating, I’ve found that this has become especially true. In the strange, unusual climate we currently live in, many graduates have found themselves in jobs they didn’t expect and career pathways they never planned. It’s become very easy to get lost in self-comparison. Therefore, it’s more important than ever to be aware of comparison’s challenging relationship to mental health. 

There are many reasons that our generation have become pros at self-comparison, and I believe the main one is our collective reliance on technology. Thanks to the endless features offered by apps such as Facebook, Instagram and Twitter, it has become almost impossible not to remain in a constant state of awareness of exactly where your friends are, what they’re doing and how fun it looks. We’re more connected than ever, which has proven indispensable as we tackle Covid-19 measures and endless social distancing. Yet, an unfavourable result of this limitless connectivity is the ease at which we can now compare our lives to those around us. Effortless past time or not, it’s undoubtable that if you’re feeling low, scrolling through your news feed isn’t often the mood-boost you’re in need of. What’s more, we often forget that everything posted there has been edited specifically to paint its subjects in the most positive light, making any comparisons all the more damaging to our confidence. 

As a recent graduate myself, I feel as though this has become a more significant problem since leaving university. Most of my fellow grad friends have headed in separate directions, moving to other parts of the country (or even other parts of the world), meaning that social media has become one of the only means of communication that we can maintain. As a result, it has become almost customary to obsess over how differently others’ lives seem to be panning out. Personally, after such a multitude of time spent in education, measuring myself against other members of my cohort is practically second nature. Graduating into a global pandemic, mass unemployment and resultantly, a lot of confusion and stress, has highlighted how this method of easy comparison between myself and fellow students is both an impossible and futile task. Yet, although I know I have achieved great things, social media encourages me to continue this practice; I often find myself concerned with what others appear to be achieving, or how much fun they appear to be having. Ultimately, relying on social media as my main reference point for how well I’m doing has most definitely led to difficulties with my self-esteem and self-worth. 

So, what can we do to prevent social media’s stimulation of self-comparison? I’m not going to suggest detoxing altogether. Having an online presence is inevitable nowadays, and the achievements of others can be inspiring. However, it is key to be mindful of our social media use, and the impact it might be having on our mental health, remembering that our worth is not dependent on how we relate to others. Setting and celebrating personal goals is a much worthier use of your time than lamenting upon your friend’s Instagram feed, and provides a much healthier source of self-esteem than tracking likes and comments. Furthermore, even though it can be impossible (especially at the moment) to reduce the time you spend online, maintaining a sense of what is real and what is manufactured is crucial if you want to use social media in a healthy way. 

Social media is simultaneously the best and worth thing that’s happened to our generation. To prevent its burnout, it’s essential we begin to utilise it in the healthiest way possible and stop the self-comparison!  

Meet: Kate - History (BA) graduate

 

After recently publishing an article for Student Minds on the Power of Graduates Coming Together, I connected with Kate, History BA (Hons) graduate from the class of 2019 at The University of Newcastle. I chatted to Kate about her experience of graduating below. 

Kate also published a piece on Student Minds titled Embracing A Challenge: How to Enjoy The Unknown. Kate discusses how to embrace the challenges that university throws at you - and a lot of her advice can be tailored to life outside of university, with one of her tips being 'Say No to Self-sabotage'. I definitely recommend you give it a read! 

________________________________________

1) How were you preparing to graduate – did you have a plan for your next steps?

My final year at Newcastle University was my favourite by far. It was full of constant essay writing (and research for my looming dissertation deadline!), weekly volunteering on Newcastle Student Radio and socializing with friends. Although it was all great fun, in hindsight, I always had the idea of travelling as my next step, which helped me get through those 9am lectures and 5,000 word essay deadlines!

I always felt like I was on a treadmill from sixth form to graduation, so going travelling was the release I wanted from education. After consistently saving money every month I booked a flight to Vietnam during a dissertation crisis in the library - as you do! I think this gave me a bit of willpower to push through my two final semesters and make the most of the limited time I had left as a student. 

2) What was your experience like searching for jobs once you had your degree?

Once I got home from Vietnam, I began my job search. It was a little stressful! I still had the travel bug, yet I was conscious that I needed to get the ball rolling on the job front. Whilst I volunteered at a local hospital radio station in my spare time, I was lucky enough to be offered a paid runners position at a television production company for a month or so before Christmas 2019. This was perfect as it allowed me to gain some valuable experience and put some money aside for my trip to Australia in January 2020. 

However, when I returned from Down Under, Covid19 really threw a spanner into the works – something that we are all still living through!  Few industries are recruiting at the moment and the job search, for not just graduates, has temporarily halted. Covid has put my voluntary position at a local radio station on hold due to social distancing measures, so I am staying productive during the interim by working part time as a sales assistant and childminder. For the most part, I feel Covid19 has been a bit of a blessing and a curse. It has made me realise how I was most probably guilty of living a tad in the future and not so much in the present.

In an ideal world, I’d love to pursue a career in radio production or journalism. I feel, especially in broadcast media, your job is like a portfolio whereby you’re involved in lots of different projects often at the same time. I think this can be attributed to when you enter this industry and apply for a job too – there's often no direct route, which can be incredibly disheartening. 

3) Did you have any worries about graduating – if so, what were they?

I wasn’t so worried about graduating, but more so, rather excited that I had accomplished such a personal goal of mine to read History at university. The fact that both ‘the end’ was in close sight and that I would never be able to replicate my university years was an extremely weird prospect for me. The idea of ‘adulting’ and finding ‘the job’ made me slightly terrified upon graduating – it still does, argh! 

4) What has been the most exciting part of leaving university and education behind?

At times I’m guilty of getting wrapped up in the rat race of searching for a job, the concept of making the most of my twenties and finding out who I am as a person, but the idea that ‘the world is your oyster’ (cliché, I know!) is so exciting to me. Albeit part time, the fact I’m earning every month is empowering. I can save money during this lull and make arrangements for big financial commitments in the future.

5) What has been the least exciting/challenging part of being outside of education? 

I think the least exciting part of being outside of education is that....really, life isn’t any different. I was naively expecting a crescendo moment, but essentially, I still feel like I’m the same person. I don’t think I’ve changed in my motivation to achieve certain personal goals, but life away from what was my old life (sob!) can annoyingly be a little mundane and routine driven. 

6) Is there anything about the ‘real world’ you didn’t expect/weren’t prepared for?

One word: Lockdown. I was nowhere near prepared for what was ahead of me when I returned from Australia – nobody was, for that matter! Life has now become so uncertain and the circumstances make it so difficult to plan ahead. The one thing I’ve learned working under these current circumstances is that no matter what you are doing and where you are working, learning to adapt to a new environment and taking every day as it comes is so important. Find the excitement in the unknown – at least that’s what I’m trying to tell myself!

7) Do you have any particular goals you want to reach in your life outside of education?

To have a purpose and feel wanted. In the broader context, as cringe as it sounds, I want to be happy and content within my future work environment. Everything has a domino effect on each other. 

8) Is there anything you wish you had been told about leaving university?

Truth be told: the transition is scary...and nobody tells you. It’s such a taboo subject. Your life doesn’t all click into place as soon as you drive back home after three years or so away ‘doing your own thing’. Learning ‘how to adult’ is tricky. I don’t think you ever really know what you’re doing, no matter what stage you are in life. Everybody is in the same boat, and more so now, the same storm! Be kind to yourself. 

9) Three words to describe your transition from university?

Daunting. Fun. Exciting.

10) Any tips for surviving outside the university bubble? 

Despite my limited time outside of the ‘bubble’ (coming up to a year and a half!), I would stress don’t be afraid to show people that you are eager to learn. One of my biggest qualms is that job descriptions for junior positions often include ‘experience necessary'. This can make you feel so frustrated, as a recent graduate like myself, doesn’t always have this requirement. Willingness to take up unpaid jobs could help you gain similar experience, which could prove valuable in the future. Remember, take every day at your own pace and listen to your gut instinct if something doesn’t feel right. You never know, something new could lead you onto the right path – and add another string to your bow!

Help! Handling job interview anxiety

Job interviews at the best of times are nerve-wracking experiences, everyone will experience anxiety to some degree - that’s totally normal. Of course, this can be amplified if you struggle with your anxiety on a day-to-day basis! 

I have always hated job interviews, I remember my very first interview for a sales assistant position at 16, god, I was so nervous, I didn’t eat for 24 hours. Safe to say, I absolutely flunked it, and got the call the same day to tell me I had been unsuccessful (brutal). I vowed to never go to a job interview again, feeling totally ashamed I couldn’t answer their question of, ‘where in the store is best to display our new handheld fan collection, and should we put the batteries next to the display or away?’ 

But of course, you can’t avoid job interviews, unfortunately, you just have to learn how to handle them!

Until I was 22, most of my job interviews were for part-time roles in stores or cafes, my first big interview was for an Educational Support Assistant role at a local sixth form college. Getting that interview was definitely a ‘right place at the right time’ sort of situation, after inquiring about work experience and being told they had a vacancy if I was interested. I’d gone in to speak, unofficially, with the SENCo of the college to ask more about the role, and knew straight away that I definitely wanted to apply. She pretty much told me on that day that she’d be up for hiring me, but we had to go through the official route of applying/interviewing, ‘there will only be 3 people on the interview panel!’ yeah, 3 people too many to my anxious brain! I really thought I would have gotten away with not having an interview, after explaining how I often struggled with anxiety, she was incredibly understanding and reassured me that she would be there, and she’d fight my corner. 

Going into that interview, yes I was nervous, but also felt some comfort knowing that I’d already impressed ⅓ of the panel, and just had to do the same with the others. The whole interview, I could feel my throat closing in, I was shaking, but I got through it and I received a call the same day to say I had been successful RESULT! I worked there from 2018 to the start of this year. 

The last time I had an interview was for my current role at a university. I hadn’t been sure at the time whether I wanted to attend, because I loved the job that I was in - I had been applying at a time where I was interested to see what other opportunities were out there with my experience, not expecting any results. Anyway, I received an invite to attend an interview, and at that point, I wanted nothing more than to avoid the whole situation and stay in the comfort of my familiar role. I was so close to saying no, feeling sick at the prospect of having to go and sit opposite a panel of people asking me questions I might not be able to answer (*flashbacks to the handheld fan*). But, I figured, my anxiety and clear desire to steer clear of interviews was just definite proof I needed more experience. And plus, I was interested in hearing more about the role I had applied for. 

I spent the time before my interviewing researching the role, pulling apart the job description to write about how my current experiences and skills matched up to the job role, and I tried to imagine the sort of questions they would ask me. As you expect, the usual suspects ‘tell me about a time you have successfully handled conflict’, ‘what are your strengths/weaknesses’? As had happened in my very first interview, I didn’t eat anything the day before - god bless physical symptoms of anxiety, and couldn’t face any sort of food/drink the morning of. I had planned my route, I would drive to work, park up, spend an hour in work answering emails, meeting students, and then walk across for my interview.

I spent that morning at work crying in the toilets for pure fear of going to the interview, for fear of being offered the job, and needing to decide what to do. I remember my colleagues having to hype me up to leave, reminding me how I would smash it and that they were proud of me. I spent the walk to the interview trying to hype myself up. It failed miserably, as I sat directly outside the building I was supposed to interview in having a HUGE panic attack. Despite the fact I was incredibly embarrassed to be having this experience in public, worrying the people interviewing me would see me, I was paralysed by anxiety and couldn’t move. At that point, I wanted to admit defeat, I couldn’t go in. 

I sat there for about 5 minutes, trying to calm myself down. And perhaps the strongest inside voice I had ever heard, appeared out of nowhere and said ‘Nope, you’re not doing this to me anymore. You’re not winning’. And just like that, I stood up, wiped my tears, hoped my make-up hadn’t smudged too much, took a deep breath, and walked into the building. I had NEVER felt that strong and determined, and there was no fight back from my anxious voice, it was like I had taken it by surprise! To this day, I can’t believe how quickly I was able to pick myself up.

As soon as the interview began, my anxiety began to dissipate, it didn’t disappear completely and there were times where I couldn’t answer a question and I wanted the ground to swallow me, but I survived. And all the while I couldn’t believe my strength. I felt like saying to the panel, I was a broken mess outside just 2 minutes ago, and look at me go!!! As I’ve already made clear, I did get the role! And to this day, I am immensely proud of myself, because I could so easily have left that day and missed out on this opportunity. 

SO after all this - what tips do I have for handling your anxiety in a job interview?

- Prepare, not just the night before! Sit with the job description, try to apply your experience and skills to explain why you could meet the expectations/specification. 

- Know where your interview is taking place, sort out your route ahead of time, and give yourself plenty of time, you don’t want to be rushing!

- Before going into the interview, take deep breaths.

- Avoid caffeine before your interview, if you already struggle with interview nerves, adding caffeine will amplify all the physical symptoms and can make it difficult for you to relax

- Research the company, if they ask you why you want to work for them - can you highlight parts of the company values which match with yours? 

- It’s okay to not understand a question, ask if they can rephrase. If you still don’t understand what they mean when they’re asking where they should place the handheld fans, hold your hands-up, admit defeat, and explain you are unable to answer. You could say: ‘I’m really sorry, I am unable to answer that question right now, am I able to come back to this at the end of the interview?’ This can buy you some time to think, or you could say ‘I’m sorry, I am unable to provide you an answer to that question’. You’re only human, not everyone has the answer to everything, we’re not Alexa.

- If you know you fidget a lot, try and take something with you to make it less obvious you are fidgeting, wear a ring that you can play with under the table, or find something discrete to take with you to channel that fidgeting. 

- Maintain eye contact, as scary as it seems - don’t look at the table.

- If they offer you water, take it - if you feel your throat drying up, or you feel yourself becoming particularly anxious, take a sip. 

- It’s okay if you don’t have any questions when they ask, but I would always try and have some banked… Perhaps you could ask what a typical day is like in the office, what they enjoy about working for the company? What sort of opportunities for progression are available? If you’re really at a blank, explain you don’t have any questions at that time, but you would be able to email anything to the relevant people should anything come up. 

- Treat any job interview - no matter how much you want the role - as purely experience, the more pressure you put on yourself to succeed, the more your interview will come across staged and intense, try and relax, of course, you’re aiming for the best outcome, but don’t pressure yourself.

After the interview, take some time to recollect. Don’t be diving straight into any taxing tasks. Reward yourself in some way, remind yourself how proud you are of yourself! Whilst you’re waiting for your result, try not to overthink it. If you get the job - celebrate!! If you are unsuccessful, don’t be too hard on yourself, you did amazing even going to the interview!

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

What can you expect from Camp USA? Meet: Leanne - Business Studies graduate (BBS)

https://the-irish-graduate.com/
Instagram: @theisrishgrad
Twitter: @theirishgrad_

Hey there, my name is Leanne and I have recently completed my undergraduate degree in Business Studies from Dublin City University. As part of my degree in my third year, I undertook a 12-month work placement with Irish Rail within their Commercial Department. As I was nearing the end of my placement, I knew I wanted to make the most of my summer before I started my final year and entered “adulthood” thereafter. Most third-level students in Ireland, will at some point go on a J1 to either the US or Canada. I always had an interest in going on a J1 Visa but the traditional J1 experience of working in a bar or bike shop never really appealed to me. That is where the J1 Camp Counselor Visa comes in. Up until this point I had never been away from home for more than two weeks, let alone travel solo. But I was up for the challenge!

I completed the Camp USA application process and I was hired by The Fresh Air Fund as a Leadership and Debate Specialist. Camp Mariah is one of six of camps operated by The Fresh Air Fund who work with children from underserved communities from the five New York City boroughs. The camp I was placed in was unique in that not only was it named after Mariah Carey (who also visited us!) but it is a yearlong Career Awareness Program that consists of activities such as job shadowing and career fairs.

My role in camp saw me teach four 1-hour classes per day as well as having immediate responsibility for 6 campers per session alongside my co-counselor. I was constantly working to improve my lessons as well as attempting to have a meaningful impact on the campers through conversation and the sharing of knowledge in and out of the classroom. Given the class that I was teaching, the scope was there to do so.

At the end of session two, I was named as Specialist of the Session, which was confirmation for me that my main lesson objectives had been met (if campers coming up to me outside of class to talk about debating was not already enough). I also got the opportunity to be the interviewer for Business at the Camp Mariah Career Fair. This event sees campers’ interview in various fields that they are interested in and present completed CVs and cover letters that they have worked on in their Career classes. Both times that I did this I was blown away by the camper’s creativity, expert knowledge, and confidence in their abilities; I could learn a thing or two.

Since returning home there has not been a job application form or interview where my experience in camp did not get a mention. In particular, what makes my experience stand out is how I put my almost 10 years of public speaking and debate experience into practice and developed a leadership program centred around it unlike what had been implemented at the camp previously. Additionally, I had the getup and go, the determination you could say to travel on my own to camp, not exactly knowing what to expect. I made it work as well as making friends for life along the way. Employers want to see drive, initiative and your organisational capabilities, my time in camp will be proof of those things for years to come. 

It was from my time at camp that the idea for The Irish Graduate was born. I wanted to share my journey at camp and all that I had learned in a way that could inspire others to do the same. I was meant to be returning to camp again this summer and then set off on a Graduate Visa to the US which would all have been documented on my blog. Whilst this is no longer the case, that did not stop me. The Irish Graduate has become a platform where I share my less than regular university experience (5-hour daily commutes and college transfers) and share the stories of other graduates in the “My Graduate Life” series. Whilst I may not return to camp next year, I hope my story inspires you to go instead.

So, send in your application, pack your bags and head to camp (post- COVID 19, of course); you and your CV will not regret it!

To keep up-to-date with our posts, follow us: Follow my blog with Bloglovin  

Follow Leanne's journey post-university: https://the-irish-graduate.com/

Meet: Jo - Photography (BA) and Psychology (MSc) graduate

Website: https://www.jcphoto.co.uk/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jochukualim_photo/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/Jo_Chukualim

I’m Jo. I’m 24 and I graduated in 2019 with an MSc in Psychology. Before that, I graduated in 2018 with a BA in Photography.

What has it been like for you, leaving behind university? 

It’s been interesting. I went on to study an MSc once I’d finished my BA degree and then there was this extra layer to my career to figure out. i.e. what does the integration of both my degrees look like in a job? So I ended up on a picture desk at a charity, photographing mental health projects.

Did you have a plan for your life after graduation?

I definitely had plans for my life after graduation. Like everyone else I wanted a stable job where I could be creative and use the skills I’d worked so hard to develop. The problem with university is that it doesn’t explicitly prepare you for life afterwards. I was lucky enough to go to one of the best photography programs in the UK, certainly the best in London at the time but knowing how to navigate the job market was not something that was taught. Even with the difficulties I’ve had, I feel like one of the lucky ones because I started this job navigation thing way before I started my degree. However, without connections, it was still tough.

Funnily enough, everyone talks about the importance of networking but doesn’t really tell you how to do it. Unless you’re super extroverted and feed off talking to many people at once, it’s probably going to take a bit of figuring out.

When did you begin taking photographs?

I started taking photos properly just before A-levels and this was at London College of Fashion on a short course. I didn’t love the course itself but it showed me what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

To you, what makes a good photograph? 

Technically? Good use of light and shadows to create an image with depth. I also need to feel something. I mean it’s incredibly subjective because something that evokes an emotional response from me can mean absolutely nothing to someone else.

Someone pointed out that I tend to shoot people in a vulnerable and somewhat sensual way so I guess those are the kind of images I’m drawn to. If I had to dissect it (with my psychology brain :P), I’d say I was creating images with emotions I didn’t feel safe to explore in the past and felt the only way I could do so was through photography.

What do you enjoy most about the process? 

Connecting with different people. That’s what image-making does for me, it allows me to connect with people I might otherwise not have met or spoken to.

Do you have any particular goals you want to reach in your life outside of education?

A solo exhibition. This was actually set to happen last summer. I had a date, a venue and I’d started printing and planning but I underestimated the toll my masters would take both emotionally and financially. So this is something I’m still looking forward to.

Do you have any goals with your photography? 

At the moment, a solo exhibition is the only thing on my mind and trying to figure out the best way to make that happen. I haven’t created a new project since I left Uni but there’s a lot of work that I’ve done in the past but haven’t shown yet and, looking at them together, I can see that they are all connected.

What is one thing you wish you knew about the ‘real world’ whilst you were still at university? 

That my race and gender would make things harder for me. I thought that my skills and hard work alone would be enough to get me through, that’s how I was raised. I guess I figured the art world was more progressive than it was. The amount of racist and sexist treatment I’ve been on the receiving end of has been shocking. I would have approached the ‘real world’ differently had I known.

Any tips for surviving outside the university bubble? 

Creating a network, especially while you’re at Uni, is important. If you’re like me the word ‘networking’ can seem daunting and a bit confusing but really it’s about finding people who enjoy the same things you do and/or people who think in the same way. So your friends and course mates! They form part of your network. I mean it’s kind of like dating isn’t it? The advice people usually give when you’re looking for someone special is to go to events, exhibitions, or just places that you enjoy and not be afraid to interact with others there. I’ve actually found it easier building a network during lockdown because there’s been a surge in online communities being set up so the awkward dance that happens in person is taken away.

Finding connections is one thing but making those connections work for you is another. Tell people your ideas and share your plans for your career. It might not turn into something immediately but they also have a network and could know someone to help point you in the right direction.

To keep up to date with our posts:

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Graduating in a pandemic - Meet: Erin - English (soon-to-be) graduate (BA)

I’m Erin. I’m twenty-two years old and am about to graduate with a BA in English from Queen Mary University of London. 

1) How have you been spending your time during lockdown?

At first, I was still working on my final essays and dissertation, so was spending around 30 hours a week just planning, writing and editing essays. However, around the time I finished my dissertation, I was offered a job at a local grocery store, so began working there for most of my week! Other than that, I’ve been making my way through years of Netflix recommendations and learning Spanish.

2) How are you feeling about graduating in the middle of this pandemic?
Pretty scared about the possible impact, to be honest. As I’m graduating with an English degree, there is no secure career waiting for me in the outside world. It scares me that certain sectors will most likely be unable to hire for a while, especially since I have been interested in a career in the arts sector or NGO sector for years now, and both have been very badly hit by the pandemic. But, I’m trying to see the positives! Mainly that everyone is in the same boat, and hopefully, once the pandemic finally draws to a close, there will be an influx of jobs in sectors that had to shut down throughout it.

3) Has the current situation impacted any next steps you had planned?
If so, how have you coped with that?
Massively. I had planned to travel to Mexico for an unpaid internship in June, just two weeks after my original dissertation deadline. As a part of the internship, I was going to be working as a journalist with an environmental charity. I had hopes that I could be looking to start my career as soon as I returned in September.

Again, I’ve just tried to look at the positive side. The company I was meant to be working with have been amazing, allowing me to postpone the trip to any later date. I have been able to save a lot more money than I would have been able to simply by working as normal up until June, which means I will be able to travel after the trip, something I wouldn’t have been able to afford otherwise. Additionally, by the time I finally make it there, I will hopefully be able to actually speak Spanish, rather than just order a burger.

4) How have you tried to manage the uncertainty I imagine this has left a lot of 2020 graduates with?

I think the only thing you can do is speak to fellow graduates and remind yourself you’re not alone. I have so many friends graduating from a whole variety of degrees who have been forced to change their plans for the near future. Many are planning to stay in part time roles that have no connection to their career plans, a few have been forced to defer or postpone masters courses, a few have completely lost job opportunities. I even have a couple non-British friends that have been forced to return to their home countries and have no idea when they’ll be able to safely return. Knowing that most of my friends are equally as uncertain about where they might be in six months is the main way I can comfort myself. Also, I’m just making the most of time off. I haven’t had this much spare time since I was nineteen years old, so I’m trying to adapt to not guilting myself for spending an entire day off watching Netflix and sewing!

5) Have you been given any specific guidance by your university?

Unfortunately, no. Although that seems to be the case for most of my friends attending different universities. I think students have been left in the lurch a little during this pandemic. My university was particularly unhelpful throughout the final semester, refused furlough to myself and 250+ of student staff, failed to release grades on time, etc. Since my last deadline, we’ve hardly been sent a thing, but at this stage I don’t expect anything less.

6) What plans do you have now?

After waiting for two months to see whether I might make it out to Mexico later this summer/year, I decided I didn’t want to continue with the uncertainty and began looking for graduate roles nearby my hometown. In September, I will now be starting work as an English teaching assistant in a Manchester secondary school. Whilst this isn’t something I ever had planned, I’m grateful I will get the opportunity to gain some experience in schools (as I have considered teaching in the past), and that I will be working solely within a subject that I love dearly. Hopefully, by the time the school year is complete in 2021, I will be able to head out to Mexico just a year later than planned! After that, I have no idea. But I figure that if there is anything that the last few months has taught me, its that plans can change and opportunities can arise within the space of weeks, so there is little use in getting bogged down about where I might be in twelve months’ time.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

How to: survive living with your parents

Moving back in with your parents after living independently during university I’d say is the most difficult part of the transition… (of course, finding a job is pretty damn hard, especially in these current corona times). Moving back to my childhood home for me was incredibly hard. Before moving to university, I had always doubted my ability to live independently, being the definition of a home bird, I expected it to be hell. But they were the BEST years of my entire life. Before university, I’d never really been away from my mum for longer than a week - struggling (yes, even as an adult) with separation anxiety whenever I was away from her.

What surprised me most was the fact I never once (genuinely!) experienced homesickness, this was possibly helped by the fact I had moved out with one of my best friends who started at the same university as me on the same degree course. In that time, I grew so much as a person, I learnt so much about myself - outside of my family’s influence (because we’ve always been so close and have lived together on the same estate all my life). I learnt my own beliefs, my own likes, my own dislikes, my own ways of viewing and reacting to things. I had a blast. Any time I returned home for a week or more, whilst it was nice to see my family - I was desperate to return to my space, my place of growth. Summers were always a struggle. In my final year, I kind of dreaded the fact I’d be moving back home for an indefinite amount of time (not having the funds to live independently).

I moved out of my childhood home as exactly that, a child, young and naive at 18. I left, an adult, my own person, at 21. The moment I stepped back in that door with three years of my life packed up and ready to unpack in a space that no longer connected with me, I was 18 again. My family hadn’t spent a lot of time with the person I had become at university, they saw me briefly for summers, christmas and some weekends, but they didn’t see the Rebecca I was away from them - who managed her own bills, worked alongside her degree, did her own weekly food shops, budgeted, drank with friends at the weekend, wrote for the student magazine, they didn’t see that I wasn’t the person I left.

I moved back home in July 2017 and am still at home to this day… and it’s been tough. And lockdown has only made it tougher - having to work from home and having barely any opportunities to escape. I have felt myself become more and more like the 18-year old I left behind.

I wanted to share some tips that have helped me navigate and survive the big move.

1) Establish your boundaries with your parent(s), remind them that you are a full-grown adult - just like them! Yes, you are still their child, but you are not a child. Boundaries could look like refusing to be told when to go to bed (yep, I’m still often told ‘don’t go to bed too late!), asking them to respect your privacy - knocking on your door rather than coming in uninvited. And just establishing some me-time where you’re not mithered.

2) If you are financially able to - pay your parents some rent, work out what is an acceptable amount. This has helped me to feel a little more independent - knowing that I am part of the upkeep of the house, rather than relying on my parents to pay for bills and food shopping.

3) Have open and honest conversations with them - if you’re feeling suffocated by them, or you’re feeling they’re not respecting your boundaries or the fact you are a whole ass adult, tell them. You are able to have adult conversations. Try your hardest not to revert back to a teenager in these moments aka ‘you’re sooo unfair, you don’t understand me!!! Life is soooo not fair’... leave that behind, the more you’re acting like a teenager, the easier it is for them to treat you like one - and the cycle continues.

4) Get. out. the. house. Go for a walk, have some time alone, meet your friends (of course, sticking to government guidelines in these times). Have something you do outside of the house that is for you and you alone.

5) Find ways to help around the house - become a housemate rather than the child. Would you have let your uni housemate cook tea for you every night, iron your clothes, wash your clothes, wake you up, change your bedding etc., nope, so don’t let your parent(s) do this. Yeah, it’s easier, but again, it’ll only reinforce the child-parent relationship, do your own goddamn ironing!

Living with your parent(s) whilst it might be tough, it’s also a real privilege and it’s important to acknowledge that. Some people aren’t that lucky. I am incredibly grateful that my mum allowed me to move back in, and isn't pushing me or rushing me to move, rather giving me the time to get everything in order before I flee the nest a second time. And don’t forget, it’s also equally as important to remember your parent(s) had those three years without you, they may have changed as well! They aren’t used to having you back around the house, so the more you work together on the move going smoothly, the easier it’s gonna be. Give your parents their own space, too. Don’t be disrespectful, respect their boundaries and any rules of their house. And you’ll survive it.

Meet: Sarah - Politics graduate (BA)

Insta: @sarahlostctrl / @identitypartyshop
Depop: https://www.depop.com/identityparty/

What degree did you graduate with and what year did you graduate?

I graduated with a politics BA from goldsmiths in 2018!

Has your experience of the ‘real world’ so far been positive or negative? 

It’s definitely been positive, I loved my degree but it was nice to get out of education after studying for so long and being totally in control of my time!

When did you first start selling clothes on Depop?
What was your motivation to start doing this? 

I first started selling clothes on depop in my first year of uni (2015), just old things I had to get a bit of extra cash! Then in my second year (2017) I set up my shop, I found 2 really beautiful dresses in a charity shop that weren’t really my style but I couldn’t leave behind so I put them on my depop and they sold in a few days... I loved finding cute clothes that had been discarded and giving them a new life with people who would treasure them so it slowly became my job!

How long has it taken for you to get the store following you have? 

I gained 20k followers in the first few months and since then it’s grown steadily to 85k!

What’s been the best thing about running your own little business? 

The best thing is definitely getting messages from people saying that my store has made them start buying second hand as opposed to new... I love the creative side of sourcing clothes but I also really want to transform the market and give people an accessible online platform that’s an alternative to fast fashion.

How have you coped with keeping your store going in these times of COVID-19? 

I’ve had to change things a little due to the virus, I’ve moved all my sourcing to online and cut down my posting to once a week. I’m a business customer with royal mail anyway so I’m able to drop off all my parcels so that cuts down contact which is good! I’m incredibly lucky that my business is online so I’ve still been able to keep it going with some alterations for safety!

When you were in university, is this where you would have expected to be? 

Definitely not, I always planned on going into more mainstream fashion and interned throughout my degree. As my shop grew I realised it would be viable to do it full time and I’m so passionate about it I decided to give it a go!

What advice would you give to someone who is going to be graduating in the summer? 

My advice would be not to worry that you need to come out of uni and go straight into your “career”- it can be really daunting but actually you don’t need to find a job for life because you can gain experience and build on what you’re doing. Do something you care about and enjoy
and see where it goes!

Postgraduate education: is it worth it...What do postgraduates say?

I don't feel ready to leave uni yet… do you think it would be a good idea to stay in education until I decide on what I want to do?

1) Personally, I do feel as though I stayed on with postgraduate education because I wasn't ready for the 'real world'... But I think that it hasn't really done me any problems, as I was able to work alongside completing my MSc. I don't see it as an issue, but only if you use that time wisely. Plan for what you're going to do after your postgrad, try and find work experience, use the careers service, because it will be over before you know it!

2) No, university is expensive, if you could get it funded and defer for a year that would be great. You could then spend a year in a job, volunteering, etc. And figure out what you actually want to do. If you just stay in uni, you'll not grow, you'll not suddenly figure out what you want to do, because you're only getting exposed to that course, to that course setting. Get out there, get a 'crap' job, travel, see friends, make connections with other people not just students and uni staff.

3) Hmm, it may be a good idea to stay on, but having experience in different places and opportunities may help you decide and then your further studies will be more fruitful.

I don’t really like my undergraduate degree - can I choose a different postgraduate degree?

1) Yes! I think certain courses and universities will require different entry requirements, but I do think it's possible to specialise in an area completely away from your undergraduate degree. You may be able to take a conversion course etc., but as far as I'm aware, you can apply for most postgrad degrees coming from a different undergrad.

2) Yes, if you've decided that it's not for you why would you want to spend 3 years doing something to then have to spend 3 years correcting it. Leave, figure out what you want to do and come back if that's the way forward for you

3) Do you know what it is you don’t like? Is it the subject, the teaching, the other students or what? Of course, you can stop onto something else at postgraduate level, or do another first degree or even diploma to widen your field.

Is a post-graduate degree harder than an undergraduate degree?

1) I think the independent aspect of it, yes. I did a research masters so it all felt totally different to the constant support I received at my undergraduate. And despite the fact I'd only started my MSc in the September after graduation, I found it a LOT harder when it came to writing my thesis, to write in that academic style that had previously come so easy for me. Once I got back into the swing of it, it was absolutely fine, but yeah, you do need to prepare for the increased independent work.

2) I definitely think it is- much more isolating than an undergraduate degree - especially if it's your own research

3) Masters, no. Its usually the same layout as an undergrad and its familiarly comforting, the work can be slightly harder, but that expected, but the experience isn't much different. PhD however is lonely, its an entirely new setting, you're in charge of yourself to a degree you haven't been previously, it's hard to keep yourself motivated and because there isn't really actual hand in dates is sometimes feels like you're behind all the time, the work is definitely harder but the context sometimes is harder than imagined

4) Yes and no. You are more your own boss in postgrad studies, so that might suit you.

What can I expect in terms of tutor support whilst I’m doing a postgraduate degree?

1) The support is definitely less intense as an undergraduate degree - especially for me, doing a research MSc and moving away from campus. You normally have a monthly meet-up with your thesis supervisors, and they will give you a list of things to do before your next meeting. Living away from campus, and working full-time, it was harder for me to access that support from my supervisor, but emails and phone calls are always an option. I think you're expected to be more independent when it comes to postgrad, but your supervisor will always be there for support with write-up and data collection, etc.,

2) Again, masters is pretty similar to undergrad. PhD is a whole new realm, make sure you have a good relationship with your supervisor, you get an hour a month and a lot of the time it feels like that isn't enough to cover the work, nevermind any of the common mental health issues associated with doing the PhD. 

3) I’ve had really good support, but in the past poor support from tutors, so it depends where you go to study, and what the tutors interests are. Plus your willingness to ask for help.

Can a postgraduate degree give me a better chance of entering into my field of interest after I graduate?

1) I think so, yes. Especially if you use the time to network, through postgraduate conferences, and events held at your university. It becomes a more level playing field when you get to postgrad, and there's less of a gap between yourselves and your supervisors/lecturers. Utilise any connection you can make, apply for conferences, write for academic journals (websites like the Conversation and Wonkhe), and gain as much relevant experience as you can during that time.

2) No and yes, it really depends on what job you want after. They always come in handy, so I'd say go for it but you also need to make sure you try to get experience in your field, volunteer, get a lower position, show up and make connections if you're in a highly competitive area. Maybe do a gap year to get it

My uni has offered me funding to do a postgraduate degree, but I don’t really want to - shall I just do it to not waste the funding?

1) It is amazing when your university offers you funding, as it happened with me. However, make sure you think it through. Yes, it's a great opportunity, and you may feel pressured not to waste that chance, but there's really no point in you putting yourself through more intense years of study if you don't even want to do it! Weigh it up, would a postgrad propel you further to where you want to be, or hold you back?

2) I would take any opportunity you can - if you're passionate about your research, there should be no question about it

3) Defer the position. You can usually do it for 2 years, get out there get a job, be normal for a bit and it's there waiting for you while you decide. I got funding for my PhD and jumped in as I didn't want to lose such a good opportunity, it went horrendously wrong, I didn't like the subject I was given, the supervisor was awful, and it was just a mess. I quit and deferred my place for 2 years and came back with a new passion restored in an area I'd never thought about before and its so much better this time round. Use the offer as a safety net, keep it on pause while you do something else, you never know 2 years later you might want it, and if you don't that's OK too, but at least you've had time to think so you're not being rushed into a decision you're not sure of. 

4) Who would you be doing it for? And why? You’d waste the money and your time if you did it.

Would I be able to work alongside doing a postgraduate degree?

1) I did, but it wasn't really great for my mental health, especially because I was working full-time in quite a demanding job, and writing up my thesis. I think only you can decide on that, really. You know your financial situation/your ability to balance commitments. I wouldn't, however, recommend working full-time, as it really did cause me a lot of stress and anxiety.

2) Yes for both masters and PhD. It would suck if you had to work full time, you won't have much of a life... And while doing the PhD that is something you shouldn't compromise, master you have your class and your mates, the PhD is lonelier. I had to drop a shift at work to be able to have time that was for me 35 hours at uni and 37 at work was slowly killing me, I did it for a year but then I noticed my mental health was... Well crap. So I dropped a shift and it's been much better, I can see family and friends and not miss out on theirs and my own life events because I can balance things a bit better. 28 hours or less I feel is doable, but it's what you feel you can do...and try to be realistic when planning it... My 4 days at work and 3 15 hour days at uni is doable for me so I have my 1 day and the evenings or morning before and after work to myself. But it does depend on you and your circumstances, and what you're willing to compromise on. 

What piece of advice would you give to someone who has decided to take on postgraduate study?

1) Prepare! Don't get out of the habit of writing academically, especially if you're going to be doing a research degree where you only have one piece of work rather than continual assignments. The end result will always be worth it, even if it's feeling hard. A postgrad degree is a great way of researching something of interest to you, and it is incredibly satisfying to watch it all come together. Enjoy it, there's a lot more freedom involved, which does mean a lot more discipline to be in place. Just keep going, 25,000 or 80,000 words seems like a huge mountain to tackle at first compared to your undergrad, so organisation and time-management is key. Don't put things off, a year or three feels like a LONG time, but before you know it, your deadline is staring you in the face

2) Time management, and ensuring you take time to yourself when needed.

3) Keep checking in with yourself, your mental health is important. Make sure you know your "why" going in, when you feel like you can't do it anymore and it's not worth it, go back to it. Remember, changing your mind isn't failing, it's knowing yourself and where you don't want to be, even if you don't know where you're going. Make sure you research your supervisors well, you've got 3 years working with these people, make sure you trust them enough with your life not just your uni life, things happen and you may need to to discuss upsetting things with them (you don't have to like them, but you need to know they're professional and understand that you're not doing it in a bubble). Enjoy it while you can, there are more moments of boredom and stress, remember the good bits. 3 years, seems ages... Its not... Know how you thought that song came out last year and its been 5, that's the PhD, stay on top of it. Plan, plan, plan, and not just your schedule for work and uni, put in time where you can just sit, go for a walk, exercise, see friends. It's very easy to trap yourself in a weird vortex of assignments and work, carve out that time its just as important... Also, go outside.

4) Go for it and enjoy it. Make the most of your time, engage with what might be going on.